1) Basic me information
a) General information
i) Where was I born
ii) Parents
iii) Siblings
b) My first crew, age – as soon as I could walk across the street
i) Laurinda – she always had the best toys, we would fight to be her friend
ii) Alex – was my oldest friend till he died of cancer a few years ago. He had gender disorder which was obvious as small kids
iii) Princess – Alex’s cousin
c) First experience with a boy
i) Age 4 – My first French kiss, Steward
ii) Age 4/5 – Kisses on the bus and in the tunnel, Jimmy
iii) Age 5 – I remember getting caught for being naked with Steward, on the top bunk at his house, mom walked in, we got yelled at, I got sent home, and my parents were told, my dad was mad.
d) My first porno
i) Age 5/6 I saw my first porno, Debbie does Dallas, at Alex’s house, we blew up several condoms from his parents collection as balloons as we watched, I don’t think we got caught, we would watch a few minutes at a time over the course of weeks, VHS you could do that
a) NOTE: Summer vacations in the AZ school district were 3 months long a lot can happen in an AZ summer
b) Grades Kindergarten 0 – 6, Lincoln Elementary, Mesa, AZ, ca. + 1000 kids. During this time school got a lot of my focus
i) Age 6, Nov. of first grade, my dad died. I didn’t know at the time what this meant
(1) I remember my dad being very sick, I wasn’t allowed to hug him because his skin was full of fluid and easily ripped. He constantly had to take shots and medicine.
(2) I am still mad about that green clay.
(3) His needles and medical supplies were still years later in our house, the reason why for years I would pass out every time a Doctor stuck a needle in me.
(4) He was my mom’s one true love and to this day she has always been a single mom, never remarried and never dated
ii) From ages 7-11, 2nd grade – beginning 6th grade,
(1) I was chubby
(2) I don’t remember boys playing a big role during this time, I may have kissed one or two, but apparently it was nothing worth remembering
(3) I was never picked on and I only picked on kids that were mean
(4) I always had lots of friends
(5) I loved spandex
(a) didn’t own my first pair of jeans till 6th grade
(b) Spandex pants and top always matched, Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Disney, ext.
c) I was considered a gifted child, maybe I was or maybe I was just tricked into it
i) In grade 3 some 6 graders talked me into doing their math homework
(1) Once I saw the good grades I kept doing other kids homework
(2) I remember in 4th grade standing at the bus stop, seeing my friend the 6th grader struggling to do his homework before we got to school and asking if he would like me to do it for him
ii) I also thought my family was very poor
(1) We never had money for cool toys
(a) I had to make my own toys and accessories.
(b) My mom taught me to use a sewing machine with 8, I would sew Barbie cloths out of old colorful socks
(2) I didn’t realize till I was 16 that the vacations my mom took us kids on every year cost so much,
(a) Here are some of the places we went.
(i) Hawaii
(ii) Florida
(iii) Yellowstone
(iv) Germany when I was 6, 9, 12, and 16
(v) Combined with France, Greece, and Italy
(b) It was also very important we went to diverse museums and sights
iii) In grades 4, 5, 6, and 7.
(1) I was in a program called – E.L.P. – Extended Learning Program –
(a) Once a week four kids from my school got bussed to a different school.
(b) In order to get into ELP you had to have extra high test scores the state yearly tests, on basic school knowledge.
(c) During this time we learned math skills, how to do an outline, how to write a research paper, we did them on things like monsters.
(d) We would have problem solving races, on things like deductive logic, quickest one to look up a word, math problems, ext.
(i) For our races and contests the winner got candy or some cool prize.
(ii) Good prizes, not the cheap stuff the normal kids got.
(e) I also didn’t have to do any make up homework on the next day in normal school
2) Time to start Puberty, time to move from Elementary School to Junior High – 7th , 8th, and 9th Grade – Powell Jr. High, ca. 1800 students
a) Towards the end of 6th grade puberty slowly gets started
i) School dance with Billy Barbie, he could dance for an 11 year old
(1) I even got a corsage, a wrist flower
(2) I remember trying on the dress I wore the night of this dance in the 9G and thinking it looked better in it the 9th
b) Summer I turned 12 This was my last good kid summer
i) For my summer YMCA activities, I think I did summer camp, synchronized swimming, and karate
ii) In Arizona it is too hot to just play outside, swimming classes and indoor activities are always popular especially from the YMCA
iii) I lost weight this summer, got some color, and slowly was growing into my body
iv) I bought some blue jeans
c) 7th Grade
i) I was still in ELP and I was in Band Class
ii) In the beginning I was still a nice sweet little girl
iii) Towards the end of 7th I was asking myself what the fun getting grades was, boys and friends were more interesting
iv) Towards the end of 7th what my mom had to say became less interesting, whereas pushing my bounds became more interesting
v) Towards the end of 7th I was developing my own personalized look
(1) The lower half of my hair was shaved
(2) I liked really oversized cloths, like super oversized. I would wear pants so big that I had to fold them on the left and right in the waist each side at least by two inches, like I stole my sadly overweight brothers pants
(3) I would wear a really long black sliding lock belt, with all kinds of different belt buckles. Marijuana leaf, block K, block M.
(4) I would either match it with a white tank top (wife beater) or with a really baggy shirt, often with figures and writing on it, like what was popular on the old low riders.
(5) I wore big silver metal hoop earrings, which matched my braces well
d) Summer I turned 13 is where I started making the greater part of my life mistakes
i) Smoked my first cigarette
ii) Smoked weed for the first time
iii) Alex dresses as a girl for the first time
e) 8th Grade
i) Lost my virginity in the early morning hours of Easter Sunday, my mom gave me a gold cross on a necklace that year to Easter, the only year she ever gave me anything of real value
ii) Got my first tattoo
iii) Started sneaking out with Alex
(1) Alex would take balloons and fill them with water, tie the ends together and hang them from his neck. He would often fill them to size DD
(2) He would wear a stomach showing halter top, size 3 shorter than short shorts, heals, and a brunette wig
f) Summer I turned 14
i) Stole mom’s car for the first time
ii) Got caught stealing
iii) stayed end of it with Andy
g) 9th Grade
i) Mindy was my friend, gut feeling car accident
h) Summer I turned 15 – stayed most of it with Andy
i)
ii) Got caught for driving a car without a license
(1) It was Alex’s grandpas car
(2) I got charged with driving without a license, curfew, possession of tobacco as a minor, and the one that cost me the most… lying to a police officer
(3) Went to rehab for a short while
iii) Community Service at the church
i) 10th –the beginning of 12th Grade, Mesa Jr. High, ca. 2600 Students
j) 10th grade
i) I got pregnant, I did NOT have sex with the dad
(1) I did not have sex with the dad, we fooled around, but never had sex, it was too much touching apparently
(2) A friend of mine came to me and said she thought she was pregnant, if I would go with her to Plan Parenthood and take a test
(3) Test was positive, but it had been a long time since I had had sex, the test could not have been correct
(4) After a few weeks, sure knows I went fuck, how the fuck, I had only fooled around with the one guy, never had sex with him
(5) Once I figured out what was going on, came up with a plan and made the necessary doctor appts. I had started the second trimester
(6)
(7)
ii) I got my second tattoo
iii) Tried meth for the first time
k) Summer I turned 16
i) 4 week visit to Germany
(1) Met my Husband, we were together for two weeks.
l) 11th Grade
i) Started the Rave scene
ii) Was into making my own cloths, fluffy pants
m) Summer I turned 17
i) Met Ben
ii) Selling LSD
iii) Check fraud
iv) Drugs
n) 12th Grade
i) I knew if I stayed in AZ I would most likely wind up dropping out of school or getting arrested, or both
ii) I begged my mom to move us and half way through senior year we moved to Colorado
(1) The same day we moved, the entire group I was hanging out with got arrested
(2) The same day we moved, without knowing about my group I threw away every bit of every drug anything I had and went cold turkey clean
(3) The same day we moved a stranger changed my life with $20 of generosity
o) The second half of 12th grade
i) The first day we arrived in Colorado I slept something stupid like 16 hours
ii) My new school had a 90% African heritage ratio ca. 1000 students
iii) My last state side job was the movie theater where several people were shot at a Batman returns movie
iv)
p) Summer I turned 18 – I was on a plane to Germany on my Birthday to come to Germany, I was curious if it would work with my husband
(1) 2 week round trip super cheap flight – if everything fails go home or don’t take the flight home and
(2) 2,5 month later take the round trip Germany-US-Germany with a 6 week stay in the US – if everything worked out
(a) 9-11 happened while I had my 6 week stay in the US
(b) We were married for 20 wonderful years, and then we had a kid….
………. That was then ………….
As if I planned it … 911 days after My Child was born, I left his father after this long (see image below) of a relationship
That was the very rough draft intro to … My NY Bestselling Novel which will be that piece of me that I wanted to leave my unborn child since I was 13 years old and started journalling and it will about all of everything that I saw, felt, and experienced as I went through the culture shock of what the World is Single is like after the invention of WiFi.
My Goals
- Leave my child a piece of me, since I have feared dying of an early death since I was 13 years old… and since I lived an unhealthy lifestyle for over 20 years, on top of lots of lots of stress, from crying for almost 2 years, every day straight.. I fear that this will be my last chance to tell my „Unborn Child, who BTW is almost 5 … all the things I want him to know and hear from me when he is old enough to understand the real meanings and the true value of all of that Blah Blah his mommy would have told him about all of her real-life experiences.
- Teach my child what kind of man and person I expect him to be when he is an adult man
- Set up a passive income that will generate a lot of profits for charity and self-sustain itself long after I die.
- Turn a bunch of horrible bitter tasting Lemon Experiences into something more positive that what they were … by talking about ALL of them VERY OPENLY and VERY HONESTLY .. In hopes that, since most of the people involved didnt even realize how hurtful and mean they were, until I pointed it out and made it very clear.. maybe by me explaining and tell all of my LEMON STORIES AKA Sad Truths about all of the mean, hurtful and traumatizing experiences I had in the last two years. I can help someone learn from my experiences and mistakes without them having to make them themselves.
- Important life lessons your TV Nanny didnt teach you.
- The Drug induced Rape
- The Last Straw – The soldier who threatened me instead of helping me in my rape case/ for locking his car doors
- The forgotten 1st 3 some of my entire life
- The lost rape case I am convinced to 100% my female squirt orgasim would have proved would have won we the case… if I had know the amount of liquid in my squirt orgasim was NOT NORMAL… I thought ALL WOMAN could squirt like me… if I knew then… what I know about myself now, I would have won.. But I lost…
- The 9 months of nonstop, every chance he had to verbally abuse me about hahaha It was your fault you were raped, you deserved it.. you are not the mother of my child, I dont need to be nice, you are the dirty machine who produced my child… nothing more
- REAL LIFE PTSD caused by a verbally abusive evil ex
- Changing the reflection of reality
- THE LARGEST Enttäuschung of my entire life and his SUPER GAU of a, make everything worse girlfriend than it already was contact that ended in this profile text…